


Soft Heart

by chosis



Series: Chanyeol & Taemin Drabbels/shots [3]
Category: EXO, SHINee
Genre: Alpha Park Chanyeol, Alpha/Beta, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Angst, Beta Lee Taemin, Bittersweet, Bottom Lee Taemin, Comfort/Angst, Dancer Lee Taemin, EXO - Freeform, M/M, SHINee - Freeform, Smut, Sorry I needed my daily angst, Top Park Chanyeol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-29
Updated: 2020-12-11
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:41:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27776281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chosis/pseuds/chosis
Summary: Chanyeol faces the hard truth that he cannot always protect what is most precious to him- Taemin.
Relationships: Lee Taemin/Park Chanyeol, Park Chanyeol/Lee Taemin
Series: Chanyeol & Taemin Drabbels/shots [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2035237
Comments: 2
Kudos: 20





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry, I needed my dose of angst and these two were the victims ~ a slight abo. In which Chanyeol is alpha and Taemin is a beta who in my abo dynamics is equivalent to an omega, while omegas are equivalent to betas original stance. Enjoy this angsty Drabble (?)

“We welcome you Park Chanyeol”, sounded throughout their home. It caught a certain silver haired man’s attention. 

Taemin looked up from his laptop, he was currently writing his novel that he had been working on for roughly two months. Two months of just him alone in his and Chanyeol’s home. He wasn’t sure why Chanyeol had to be away for that long, but the older had told him it was for a business trip. They had contacted each other as much as they could during that time, but both were busy with work. But even so they loved each other more than ever, at least Taemin had thought so. 

_Hm? He didn’t mention anything about an interview?_

Grabbing his phone, he sent his lover a message while he turned the volume up to the tv. 

“So, Mr. Park, right off the bat. Is it true that you’re currently dating an actress? We heard she is very pretty and is possibly carrying?” Taemin's eyes widened at this statement, though not there in person he could tell Chanyeol was stunned by how tense he appeared to him. He could tell the older had no idea how to respond and to be quite frank Taemin also didn’t know how to take the news. 

_I’m sure it’s false news though. Chanyeol would tell me, right?_

Biting his lip, he continued watching on. In hopes that maybe his lover would reject the possible rumors, but what came next he was not expecting.

Soaked cheeks came into view, his ears hot and his vision blurred. 

-

_Two months prior_

“Chanyeol”, a woman chirped as she wrapped her arm around the older. “Ugh, when do you plan to change that damn red hair of yours? It doesn’t work with my appearance!”, Chanyeol was stunned, and confused for he had no idea how to respond to this woman’s statement. 

“I’m sorry, but who are you?”, he asked as he pried the woman from his arm. Staring at her in slight annoyance, but also keeping a smile on his face for he began to notice the cameras appearing around him.

_Ah, I just wanted to go home to Taemin._

“How funny, my love, you’re always joking like this with me. It’s so cute”, she cooed as she leaped into his arms this time. Leaning in close to his ear, “starting now, you’re mine, it’ll be in your best interest if you do as I say. Unless you want your oh so precious dancer and y’all’s relationship to be dragged out into the public, that oh so unfortunate life you choose to protect with your whole being.”, she whispered harshly as she smiled at the cameras. 

Chanyeol really was not sure how to react now. But regardless of this threat, he backed up and smiled at her, but that smile he wore expressing anything but warmth. “I do apologize, but I think you’ve mistaken me with someone else. I have no idea who you are, please do excuse me”, he bowed as he took his leave.

  
  


Cameras continued to snap even more rapidly now, making Chanyeol’s eyes hurt. Not intending to, he let out pheromones of annoyance and dominance towards the crowd of people beginning to circle him. This caused many to cower, backing away quickly as they grew nauseous.

_Damnit, hold it in._

Picking up his pace, Chanyeol made his way to his car- swinging the door open hard and getting in, slamming it closed. 

“Mr. Park”, a voice heard from his car’s speakers. “We have gathered information, and starting from now- forward you are to be wedded to the actress Ms. Kim. You are to follow our every instruction. Your agency has been informed of this and have accepted our terms. You are to Wed Ms. Kim for a spam of three years, and to produce an heir within those three. You are not to contact Lee Taemin to tell him of this, you are to inform him that you will be away.. If you refuse, we cannot guarantee your lovers Safety and your company. There will be an interview scheduled two months from now in which you will confirm any statements regarding this relationship with Ms. Kim. That is all, good day.” The line beeped, silence filled the car as fingernails dug into a steering wheel, a heavy sound of breathing now sounding throughout the vehicle.

-

Chanyeol sat staring at the man who had just asked him about Ms. Kim. His stomach turned, he wanted to decline such things, two months of keeping this facade up, two months of not being allowed to go home to his real lover. Two months of keeping Taemin in the dark, he was coming undone inside. Was Taemin watching this now? How could he face him now? 

Clearing his throat, Chanyeol smiled warmly “Yes, we’re actually engaged currently, but no baby as of now. It’s too soon for that now.”, he laughed as he smiled brightly the best he could, his hands clenched together tightly. His stomach felt nauseous, he felt uneasy that he couldn’t bring himself to look at the camera, not when he knew Taemin was probably now watching in shock. He didn’t want to imagine what he looked like right now. His heart hurt, and all he wanted to do was take it all back. He felt like his world was crumbling, was Taemin crying? Would Taemin believe his words?, when he came home tonight to leave for a whole three years. Only allowed to stay with him for one night, could he mend this situation? 

As Chanyeol was popped with every question possible about this facade, Taemin sat on their couch switching the TV off for the interview had come to an end. The show playing recaps of it, still in a state of shock. He wasn’t sure how long he had sat there just spacing out nor did he know how much time had passed.

A sound caught him off guard, snapping his head to the right. He spotted Chanyeol, his lover, a tall giant with soaked clothes and red hair clinging to his face. He didn’t dare to look up at him, as he stood still in front of their closed door. 

Taemin wasn’t sure how to react, but the sudden gutter of sobs that escaped his body answered the silence that surrounded the two. He couldn’t move, a weight keeping him chained to the couch as he stared at Chanyeol who now stood staring back at him. His lips tight and a face laced with agony as he witnessed his lover’s sobs shake their body. He couldn’t move, the sounds of Taemin’s cries anchoring him to his place.

Inhaling a shuttered breath, Chanyeol moved- pushing himself off the door. He walked slowly, the atmosphere tearing at his skin like oils that scarred bare canvases. Standing in front of Taemin who’s body shook from waves of sobs. His knees felt weak, staggering, he collapsed in front of him, his hands landing on Taemin’s thighs as his head buried into his lap. 

Taemin could feel the older’s hands squeezing his thighs hard, trembling as they did so. Gasping for air as he tried to calm his sudden burst of cries. He felt numb, he felt hurt, abandoned. Two months of waiting to be with Chanyeol, two months of anticipating their reunion. To embrace the giant, to run his hands through those red locks he loved so much. To feel the older’s warmth engulf him and penetrate him. To be in the presence of the man he had loved and continued to love for more than four years now, almost five. 

He didn’t know what to say, all he could do was rest his head on top of the older’s wet hair as his body shook with each wave of sobs. His hands laced with Chanyeol’s, holding them tight out of pain but in hopes that it would keep the older with him somehow. He didn’t know what was going on, it felt dark and he was confused, but he dared not to let go of Chanyeol. 

“T-Taemin”, Chanyeol stuttered out as a wave of a sob left his mouth. Taemin has never witnessed the older cry before, the sound of his lover’s voice being distorted by the gasps for air. Chanyeol felt the weight of the atmosphere on his shoulders, he could feel the confusion and hurt of Taemin's pheromones pacing themselves around his neck making it hard to breathe, making him sob from the pain he was causing his lover. The most precious person to him in this entire world. “Hold me”, Taemin mumbled as he lifted Chanyeol’s face to look up at him. 

Chanyeol stayed silent for a brief second as he stared into Taemin’s eyes that held so much hurt, but so much warmth and love causing Chanyeol’s heart to ache. Grabbing the back of Taemin’s hair, their lips molded together rough and persistent, both their faces soaked in tears as their hands desperately found themselves curling into locks of hair. 

Chanyeol’s hands found their way to Taemin’s thighs again, sliding them under them and grabbing them roughly he lifted the younger up. Taemin’s legs immediately wrapped around the older’s waist, their lips never leaving each other as he did so, his hands tight around Chanyeol’s red wet locks. Breaking away, both panting heavily as their foreheads rested against each other, their eyes burrowing into one another’s. Chanyeol nuzzled Taemin’s face, placing soft kisses at his wet cheeks as he trailed them down the younger’s neck as he carried him to their bedroom- his hands still holding him up firmly as his fingertips dug into his thighs. Taemin’s head rolled back, his mouth falling open slightly as a moan escaped him as he felt the sensation of Chanyeol’s tongue lapping at his neck, his teeth sinking in hard and lips sucking at it. His hands wrapping around the older tightly. 

Kicking the door open, the two holding the other tight. 

Chanyeol eased Taemin onto their bed as he kissed the younger’s now exposed chest, his and Taemin’s shirts discarded as they had made their way up the stairs to their room. He could feel the presence of the younger’s hands in his hair as they made their way down his back and onto his shoulders. 

The sound of rain pounding hard onto the windows of their bedroom, large glass allowing the light of the moon to come through painting both in casts of illuminating rays of white as the sky’s brought waves of vulnerability and agonizing years upon them. 

Taemin stared out their windows, watching the moon move slow as trees shook with the harsh storm outside. He wanted to be engulfed by it, to leave the present. He felt numb, lost in his thoughts as Chanyeol caressed him like it was his last. He wished to not think of it, but he couldn’t help it. His eyes flooding with tears once more, streaming down his cheers as his throat grew tight. Inhaling a shutter of a breath, his hands covering his face as he shook with a sob. His body trembling as he felt Chanyeol’s forehead resting on his bare chest- and his hands wrapping around him as he held him tight, his tears wetting his chest as he did. 

The two laid there, one holding the other as close as possible while the other stood still, but both being engulfed in nothing but hurt. 

Chanyeol lifted Taemin as he sat up on their bed, placing the younger on his lap as he caressed his face. Wiping away his tears as he stared at him weakly, his smile faltering in that moment. Silence surrounded them once more, as they sat staring at the other, trying to answer the questions that they needed to ask but couldn’t say out loud. 

Chanyeol inhaled, mouthing a sorry as a round of tears trickled down his cheeks, his lips trembling and his body growing tense as his grasp on Taemin’s hands tightened. Taemin didn’t respond, his eyes shutting tight at the site of his lover. “P-Please”, Chanyeol shuttered out as he brought Taemin’s hands to his mouth, kissing them gently. “S-Say S-something”, he whispered, but Taemin stayed quiet as he stared at their hands, the band that the wore. The band that Chanyeol had given them on their fourth anniversary together. 

A promise to always cherish the other, to always be there. But Taemin had hoped it meant more than just that, but he never did see the day of that one question he had hoped and dreamed of.

Taking his hands away from Chanyeol’s he moved them to caress the older’s face. “Fuck me,” he spoke.

“Taemin,” Chanyeol spoke his voice hard “I-“, “I said fuck me”, Taemin cut him off, his eyes empty. Chanyeol felt his body fill with anger, anger towards himself. Shoving Taemin down, he pinned the younger’s hands down onto the bed. Staring him down as he emitted his pheromones onto the other, causing the younger to flinch and shrink. 

Taemin wrapped his legs around Chanyeol’s waist, pushing him down onto the bulge that was covered by his sweats. Chanyeol shut his eyes tight, as he felt Taemin roll his hips and hard-on into him, causing his own to grow erect. “T-Taemin, stop”, Chanyeol gritted through teeth, his heart ache as he observed his lover who laid below him with soaked tears and eyes that were numb. His grip loosening as he began to lose him in the sensation of Taemin’s actions. 

Seeing his escape, Taemin snatched his hands from the hold of Chanyeol’s as he shoved the older off him and down onto his back. Straddling him as he rocked his hips into the other’s, “Fuck me”, he whispered as he bounced lightly on the older’s hips. Chanyeol laid with his eyes shut tight and brows furrowed as his thumbs dug into Taemin’s hip bones. 

Grabbing Taemin’s neck hard, Chanyeol slammed their mouths together, his tongue roughly finding its way into the others wet mouth as he explored it. Taemin’s eyes rolled shut as he ran his hand down to Chanyeol's waist. Unbuckling his jeans and shoving it into his briefs, palming him as he moaned into his mouth. 

Groaning, Chanyeol broke from their kiss as he flipped them. Taemin now under him, yanking his sweats off and exposing his aroused and wet length. Moving down, taking it into his mouth without warning- causing Taemin to gasp and arch up a bit. “C-Chanyeol”, he gasped out as his hands tightened around the sheets. Moving his head up and down as he sucked and twirled his tongue around Taemin’s length, kissing the tip before flicking his tongue back and forth quickly , sucking on it. The sound of wet salvia filling their ears as rain continued to pour upon their windows- the moon harsher than before. 

The sound of a pop filling the air as Chanyeol licked Taemin’s length once more before moving to the inner areas of his thigh, mouthing at them as he bit into them hard causing the younger to moan in pleasure and legs to wrap around him. Trailing marks on every inch of them as he kneaded Taemin’s ass, massaging the rim off his opening that leaked wet substance, putting pressure on it with his thumb causing Taemin’s hips to move down onto it. “C-Chanyeol, cut it out”, but Chanyeol continued to work into him as he moved to his other thigh to leave marks and bruises. Chanyeol was hard, very hard and it was getting uncomfortable quickly. Easing his lover’s legs from around him, he leaned back a bit as he took his jeans and briefs off, his length standing firm and very aroused. A moan escaped his lips as he felt Taemin’s wet hand wrap around his length, pumping it slowly but persistently before running his thumb across the tip of it quick and fast causing him to shutter as he gripped Taemin’s wrist hard. Eyeing him hard as he felt the younger’s aroused pheromones wrapping themselves around him. 

Their eyes filled his lust and nothing else. Sitting up for a brief second, Taemin yanked Chanyeol onto him as he kissed him hard, as his hand worked both of their dicks together. Chanyeol ghosted his fingers in the inner parts of Taemin’s thighs, he moved them to tease at the rim of his entrance. Pushing in a finger slowly, feeling his insides suck it in and clench around him. Slowly moving it in and out as he kissed the younger who moaned between kisses. “Ch-Chanyeol”, Taemin whined out as he pushed his hips down onto the older’s now two fingers in him. “I want you in me, please”, he shuttered out as he rolled his hips onto the older’s fingers, arching his back as it hit his prostate briefly “A-Ah, please”. 

Chanyeol shut his eyes tight, his dick hardening more than before at the sound of Taemin. Taking his fingers out, Taemin whimpered at the retreat before gasping as he felt Chanyeol’s length slowly enter him. The older groaning and exhaling a sigh as he engulfed himself with the warmth of Taemin’s insides. Feeling his walls welcome him and suck him in. 

“A-Ah, Chanyeol, so big”, Taemin moaned out, his head leaning back as his eyes rolled back, shutting slow and tongue lickeing at his swollen lips. Hands trailing up Chanyeol’s torso, clawing at it slow. “Fuck, You feel so good”, Chanyeol heaved out as he began to move in and out of Taemin slow but persistently. “More, more”, Taemin moaned out as he arched his back off the sheets, his nails digging into Chanyeol’s biceps. His hips moving with the older’s slow but persistent movements. 

Grabbing his hips, Chanyeol thrusted hard and deep into Taemin making him whine and scream at the sudden impact on his prostate. His eyes widening and mouth agape as he lost himself in his lovers hard thrusts, his body shaking with each one. “Chanyeol, f-faster, I want you in me... so deep baby”, Taemin whined out as he glanced up at Chanyeol who stared him down, his dominance making his skin grow hot and his dick leak. Obliging, Chanyeol quickened his pace as he leaned down to kiss Taemin, the younger’s hands wrapping around his neck as he moaned and whined his name out into Chanyeol’s mouth. 

“You like that, huh? Do you like me deep

In you? Fucking you hard.”, Chanyeol whispered into his ear as he ruthlessly pounded into Taemin, the sound of wet lacing the room. “So good, so good, it fills me up so well”, Taemin moaned into Chanyeol’s neck, kissing it gently before sinking his teeth in it. 

Lost in their pleasure, the sound of rain carrying them into the late hours of night. The two left unspoken questions to surround them, problems to pile as they continued to fill their minds with nothing but raw intimacy as the moon painted them. It capturing their last moments together. 

Laying in silence and no longer in each other's arms. The previous dilemma surfacing once more, causing Taemin to shutter as he curled into himself as he wrapped the quilt around him. It molding itself around him. Chanyeol exhaled as he shut his eyes tight, his forearm covering his face.

“Tae-“, he mumbled but was cut off by a sob that emerged from beside him. “D-Don’t, don’t say it”, Taemin choked out, hiding himself under the comforter. Chanyeol stared at him, covered by the white comforter that glowed gently under the moonlight. His body felt cold, his heart ached. Moving towards him, hovering over him. He rested his head where Taemin’s shoulder was, his arms wrapping the younger into him. Feeling him shake as his sobs filled the air of their room and his ears. 

He didn’t know what to say, he couldn’t say anything. He was shaking, his own eyes filling with tears that threatened to escape him. 

“We should sleep”, he finally spoke as he let go of Taemin, but no response was given besides Taemin shuffling on the bed as he turned to face the opposite direction. 

Chanyeol wanted to cry, to hold Taemin tight, to tell him it would be okay that nothing would damage them- that he’d protect them. But he couldn’t, because even he did not believe his own words. He’d hurt him, he’d made love with him- Filled him to the core with a possibility that he knew he could not give. 

He didn’t know what to do and he hated it. Sighing he shuffled to the other side of the bed, shutting his eyes to try and sleep- for morning he’d be gone. He’d leave his home, his love who was his home and safety. 

-

Chanyeol had showered, his bags pack as he placed them at the door of their bedroom. His attire resembled his feelings, torn and black. He looked over to a sleeping Taemin, he wanted to leave without words, but his heart said otherwise. Clenching his fist, he shut his eyes tight before walking over to the edge of the bed where Taemin laid.

“T-Taemin”, Chanyeol spoke as he shook him awake gently, Taemin groaned as he blinked slowly. Rubbing his eyes as he sat up slowly. Staring at his lap, he looked up to Chanyeol who stared at him silently.

Taemin couldn’t help but scoff as he glanced at the bags at their door, his hand fiddling with the band around his finger. Chanyeol shut his eyes, gulping hard as his throat grew tight. Chanyeol really had no words to say, what could he say? 

So, he said the only thing he could. 

“Taemin, please,”, he croaked out as his eyes filled with tears and his lips trembling. “I’m s-sorry”, “so s-sorry”, “b-but I ha-“ he cracked, a sob escaping him as he got up- Inhaling a round of air. He attempted to compose himself before glancing at Taemin who refused to look up from his lap, his eyes glancing at the younger’s who’s hands were held tightly together. Leaning down, he placed one last kiss on top of Taemin’s head- lingering there and taking in his scent as much as he could before stepping back and making his way to the door. Not giving a glance back as he grabbed his bags and exited their bedroom, closing the door behind him as he did. 

Taemin sat still, a breath mixed with a sob escaping him as he wrapped his arms around himself. His chest felt tight, he couldn’t breathe as waves of painful chokes and sobs wracked his body. 

“Ch-Chanyeol”, he cried out in chokes, his body shaking hard. 

“I love you”, 

“Please, don’t leave”, he practically screamed out in hopes that the older would hear him somehow. Rocking back and forth as he tried to calm down. Hyperventilating from the realization he was in.

Standing outside of their bedroom, Chanyeol leaned against the wall, his hand clutching at his chest as he doubled over in pain. Feeling the heavy weight of agonizing emotions coming from Taemin, choking him as they wrapped themselves around his being. Gasping for air as tears soaked his cheeks and shutters of breath escaped his. Staggering to the floor as he covered his mouth as a wave of choked sobs tried to escape. Listening to Taemin cry out his name and the repeated phrase of I’m sorry.

_I’m the one who’s sorry._

Standing himself up, he leaned his head against their bedroom door whispering something as he took a chain from around his neck. Hanging it around their doorknob as he departed slowly, his body heavy as he made his way to the car that awaited him outside.

Trying to take in the scent of Taemin before shutting the door to his home. 

Departed, Chanyeol buried his face into his hands as the driver ignored him the best he could.

-

Taemin had fallen asleep, waking up he’d had hoped it was but a nightmare, but the barely lingering scent of the older told him otherwise as he dragged himself out of the bed.

Opening the door to their bedroom he felt something hit his foot, bending down he picked it up. His eyes widened as the object came into focus. 

It was the matching band he wore on his hand. His lips trembled as he held it to his mouth, his eyes shut tight- his cheeks once more and for the last time that year - soaking in wet at the engraved words within it and the letter that was attached to it.

_Taemin,_

_My home, my world, the place I feel the most safe in. I’m sorry, I wanted us to always be together. I wanted to protect us with every Inch of my whole being. I’m sorry I kept you in the dark, I’m sorry for the pain I will and have caused you. I cannot express how sorry I will continue to be for the rest of my life, and I will try my best to make it up to you even if you may no longer want to see me ever again. Please don’t ever forget that I love you, I love you so much. I cannot phrase my words well, nor can words describe what you mean to me._

_I thank you for loving me, for filling my years with nothing but support and happiness- for being by my side and showing me how great the world could be. Thank you for being my anchor, for being the only person to truly understand me wholeheartedly._

_Thank you, my home, my most precious soul._

_My Taemin, my Silver fox with the softest heart who loves deeply- please be kind to yourself, for I will always love you._

  
  


_\- Park Chanyeol_

  
  


_Read yours._

_-_

_Will you Marry me?_


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nearly three years later, and Chanyeol still hasn't forgotten Taemin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> running away with your lover that you were told to stay away from while it rains (royalty core): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z-gtLiUEL3M This track really sets the atmosphere for this last chapter.

It has been nearly three years. Winter has come once again, and a child has been born, two years have passed since their birth. Chanyeol figured he’d be free to go after bearing an heir for the Kim family, but it seemed they had other plans. He was tired, his heart was heavy and his mind was cluttered with thoughts of his former lover. Chanyeol didn’t go a single day these past three years not thinking about the man with silver hair. As vulgar as it may seem, he had imagined him when he was told to produce an heir. It was the only way he could manage to keep the bile in him from coming out, having to hold and embrace someone who was not Taemin. His skin still crawls at the sight of her, avoiding any and every form of intimacy now that they had a son together. 

Chanyeol did not despise the child, nor did he not love him, but he’d be lying if he said he didn’t want anything to do with him and this family. But nonetheless, he did his best as the role of a father. He would find himself laughing because he felt Taemin would be better suited for this, Chanyeol was awkward and clumsy, he had no idea what he was doing but he’d hope the child would grow to be kind, unlike his mother who did nothing but show distasteful sides of herself. Chanyeol knew Taemin would have wanted this child to be warm and kind, and so he did his best to keep the child from harm's way regardless of the repercussions of his actions. 

\---

It was midnight, and Chanyeol still sat in his study aimlessly staring out his window that showcased the forestry their home was hidden in. He was thinking of Taemin, his skin was hot as he recalled fond memories of them together and the warm laughter he loved so much tickling his ears. The scent of lavender and warmth the younger was doused in as Chanyeol buried his nose into the soft flesh of his neck as he indulged in the warmth and wet walls of the younger. He recalled the soft cries of his name each time he’d hit Taemin’s nerves and soft hands that would find themselves buried in his hair or digging into his back. Chanyeol drowned himself in the memories of his lover, his former future spouse, his home, the very embodiment of what we call safety. He buried himself further and further each night, agonizing, his way of inflicting pain on himself after leaving the man he loved to possibly wallow in self hate with the many unanswered questions they had left unspoken that last night together. 

“Taemin..Taemin..”, Chanyeol groaned as he buried his face in the palms of his hand as the other dug itself into his chest in hopes to ease, but maybe even rip the organ that ached deeply in him in the process. He no longer wanted to feel, he wanted to turn back time. He wanted Taemin back in his arms, to tell him how much he loved him- still loved him and continued to only love him even after three years. He wanted so bad to go to him even if it were for just a moment- he wished to see his face. How was he doing? What was he doing? Did he find a new lover, was it even possible for him? Chanyeol wanted to know even though it might cause both of them harm. 

The time somehow now three in the morning. Chanyeol heaved a sigh as he stood from his chair, walking past his desk to only catch a glimpse of his appearance in the mirror that laid against the shelf of books he had collected over the past three years. He looked tired, his face painted in dark circles and his forehead ridden in slight folds from stress. His now black hair sleek and flat from his previous red and curled locks, he shut his eyes tight as he recalled the memory of when he and Taemin had decided to do an at-home curl perm. Oh, how amusing it was as they struggled, partially because Chanyeol would not let go of Taemin so he could do a good job. Chanyeol was too busy being occupied with the task of undressing the younger and groping his ass at the same time. They nearly burned the older’s hair off, it was indeed a time of laughter, and Chanyeol couldn’t help but smile weakly as he made his way out of his study. 

He was still in his suit as he dragged himself to the chambers that held a body he’d rather bury than have to sleep beside. A sigh escaped him as he stared at the door to his bedroom, not wanting to go in. Maybe he could sleep on the couch? But he’d rather not for not only would it hurt his back, but he would recall the moments of how he’d wrap Taemin in his arms while the younger straddled his lap. And how he’d bury his face in his chest after a long day at the company he ran while Taemin would knead at his back gently while chuckling softly. 

Everything reminded him of Taemin and it made it harder for Chanyeol to cope, but he was also thankful for it. So, then he wouldn’t forget the man he loved, and in not forgetting he could suffer this continuous cycle of guilt. It made him feel alive, this heavy torture he faced each moment of his life for the past three years.

Turning the knob he entered the chambers slowly so he would not wake Ms. Kim who slept. He crept along the room slowly as he rubbed his temples, headed towards their bathroom that held the closet. Undressing, he grabbed his most comfortable clothes for he did not have many since he did not bother to buy an attire that would match Ms. Kim’s even though she continued to ask him to match clothes with him, he refused like always. The lights now off, Chanyeol made his way to the bed slowly crawling into it and under the covers, but of course, the woman he distastes found his waist. The slender fingers wrapping themselves around him like a snake who wrapped itself around its prey, squeezing the very life out of them. He felt suffocated and tense, prying her hands off of him Chanyeol sighed getting out of bed, the couch it was then. “You will never see him again, don’t you think it’s time to forget about him? We have a child, you will always be with me.”, Ms. Kim had spoken as she sat up now staring at Chanyeol who stood with his back facing her. “Do not speak as if he is just a simple being.”, he snapped back making the woman roll her eyes, scoffing as she only laid back down. “We will bear another child, so prepare.”, she spoke before gesturing for him that he could leave. Chanyeol only sighed, not bothering to retort for anything he said would just be muted from the woman’s ears. 

Morning came, rays of sunlight peeking through the blinds as it cast light upon Chanyeol’s sleeping figure. It’s rays warming him as he slept, wrapping themselves around him in comfort. Squinting he sat up slowly, stretching himself as he rubbed his face. “Mr. Park, you have a visitor”, a butler spoke as he stood watching Chanyeol pat his face in hopes to wake himself. “Visitor? I did not call for anyone though, this address is not known well. Who is it?”, Chanyeol spoke as he got up and dragged himself to the kitchen. “I am unaware of their name, but they have silver hair.”, the butler said, “They are waiting in your study. I let them in since they refused to leave. Am I to get security to escort them out?”, the butler continued as he stared at Chanyeol’s back now. 

Chanyeol felt a shudder run through him, frozen in place trying to comprehend what he had just heard. Could it really be who he thought it may be? Chanyeol had hoped he was in a dream, for if it was not he would not know how to face him who now laid behind his studies doors. “N-No, please do not speak to Ms. Kim on this matter. I will deal with it, then if you’ll excuse me.” Chanyeol stammered out quickly as he sped walk to his studies that laid a floor above. “Ms. Kim is away for the time being! She is to return next week.”, the butler yelled out to which Chanyeol only nodded. 

“Please be you, please..”, Chanyeol had whispered as he stumbled up the stairs, gripping the railing hard, his breaths coming out quick and uneven. Then, it hit him, that sweet calm smell that always warmed him. Halting, he felt woozy his whole body growing numb, his palms beginning to sweat as his teeth grinded down on top of each other. Was it really him? There was no mistaking this scent he was smelling, it had to be him, but why was there another scent around it? Something bitter, it was making him feel possessive. Exhaling, Chanyeol gripped the knob to his studies, the smell practically slamming into him now making him nervous yet calm, safe. Pushing the door open, he slowly walked in as he closed the door behind him gently. Glancing up his breath caught in his throat as he took in the figure who stood before him, their hair almost a dusty lilac it seems it had grown quite long, but still fell in short waves. Their back seemed smaller than before, Chanyeol began to worry, the figure wearing clothes that hung loose, but exposed slight skin. 

He walked slowly, halting as the figure turned to face him, Chanyeol felt winded, stumbling backward at the sight of the man before him. His heart clenched, it was painful, so painful as he witnessed how hollow the man’s face had appeared and how tired his eyes were, but most of all he took in the child that slept in his arms and the dusty red hair that had specks of silver, almost rose gold but grey too. Who was this child? Chanyeol smiled weakly as he stood tall and cleared his throat. 

“Taemin”, he spoke softly, doing his best to keep his composure in line. Taemin only smiled warmly at him as he patted the little boy's back that he held gently. “Chanyeol”, he whispered as his eyes pooled slowly with wet residue, Chanyeol took in the chain around the younger’s neck- his eyes growing wide when he noticed it was his band he left behind. He wanted to disappear, had Taemin not moved on? Who was this child in his arms? Why was he here? Was he in danger? Chanyeol couldn’t help but go into overdrive as his brain began to paint possible scenarios, his pheromones coming out in waves of anxiety and anger. “C-Chanyeol”, Taemin had stuttered as he shut his eyes tight, the older pheromones affecting him and the child who began to squirm in his sleep. Chanyeol stuttered an apology as he stood silently staring at Taemin who placed gentle kisses upon the sleeping boy before placing him on the couch that was within Chanyeol’s studies and covering him in his jacket. 

“Can we talk?”, Taemin asked as he looked up to where Chanyeol stood. Chanyeol only nodded as he gestured for him to follow him into a separate room that lay behind his bookshelf, a place he frequently sat in to be alone. Allowing Taemin to enter first as he closed the door behind them slowly in hopes to not wake the little boy who slept on the other side. “How did you find this place?”, Chanyeol couldn’t help but ask as he sat on the couch opposite of where Taemin sat now. “It was difficult, but you know I’ve always had ways of pulling strings.”, Taemin chuckled as he yawned briefly. “I wanted to tell you in person, I’m moving away from here. I’m not sure where yet, but I want to move Hyun away from here.”, Taemin spoke softly as he glanced around Chanyeol’s study slowly. Chanyeol registered Taemin’s words slowly as if he may forget the younger's voice once he departed from here. “Do you need help?”Chanyeol asked as he observed Taemin who held his eyes shut tightly with obvious shivers racking his body. It wasn’t cold though, “are you cold?”, he asked as he got up to grab a quilt that lay on his study chair, quickly bringing it back and gently covering the shaking man’s body, his hand briefly brushing the skin that was exposed. His brows furrowed as he grew with worry, “you’re freezing Taemin”, Chanyeol sternly spoke as he quickly got up to grab another quilt, but halting as he felt a slender hand wrap around his wrist. “Chanyeol, hold me.”, Taemin weakly mumbled as he rested his head against the older’s arm as his hand slipped slowly from their wrist. Chanyeol froze, his heart-stopping for what felt like a second. Hesitating not within his reach, he turned around, lifting Taemin into his arms quickly- burying his face within the younger’s neck, inhaling their scent as if he may wake up soon to realize it is but a dream. But Taemin’s hands said otherwise as he felt the younger’s hands lace around him gently. “I’ve missed you, so much”, Taemin mumbled as tears pricked at the edges of his eyes as he kneaded away at Chanyeol’s back softly. Chanyeol could feel his body grow with heat, overwhelmed with guilt as he choked a sob back as he settled on the couch with Taemin wrapped around him.

Both not asking anything of the other as they sat holding one another as wave after wave hit them. They were not sure how much time had passed, but they still held one another so gently as if one of them may crumble any minute now. Chanyeol was on the verge of crumbling, he didn’t know what to do or what to say for all that came out of him were choked apologies and arms wrapping around Taemin tight. Taemin never responded, but pressing light kisses upon the older’s wet face as he lingered briefly, ghosting his lips upon the others as he closed his eyes. Chanyeol snapped, pressing his lips against Taemin’s deeply, molding them together. It caught Taemin off guard making him flinch but reciprocating as he caressed the older’s face, pushing himself against Chanyeol’s body as close as possible as his cheeks grew warm from the contact. “Taemin”, Chanyeol whispered as they broke for a second before he indulged in kissing him again- now trailing it down his neck softly. “Chanyeol”, Taemin softly spoke as he tilted his head back a bit, closing his eyes as he burned the sensation of the older’s lips upon his skin into his memory. 

“Taemin..Taemin”, Chanyeol repetitively whispered as he marked the younger’s skin while pressing their body as close as possible to his as one hand ghosted up his shirt. He stopped, as he felt how thin Taemin was, was he sick? Why was he so thin? “Taemin, are you okay?” Chanyeol asked as he looked up at him who was now sweating, his eyes shut tight. His eyes grew wide as he picked him up quickly, opening the door to the other study, only to find the child now staring at them, his expression growing wide. “D-dad, what did you d-do to him?” the child gasped as he stumbled to get to them. “H-he i-is sick, put him down!” the child began to stutter as tears pooled at his eyes. “I will help him, settle, settle, follow me.”, Chanyeol tried to reason as he grabbed the child’s hand gently, guiding him out of his study with Taemin still in his arms holding him up with the other as best as he could. 

Chanyeol had laid Taemin down on his bed before picking up the child to place him next to him, for the little one would not stop fussing. “You stay here, watch him, I will go gather medicine”, Chayeol spoke slowly as he quickly made his way out to head downstairs. He hoped that he could find the right cabinet that held the needed supplies since Tae, the child he bore with Ms. Kim would easily get sick, his body quite weak. 

“Mr. Park? What are you doing?”, a maid asked as she stared at him “A-Ah, medicine, where is that cabinet at again?”, Chanyeol stammered as the maid pointed to a cabinet that stood hanging above the kitchen counter that held fruit. Quickly headed towards it and looking for anything that may help, Chanyeol made his way back up to his bedroom, but not before grabbing a bowl and a small rag. He shut the door behind him as he settled the medicine on his bedside table as he went to fill the bowl with some water before coming back to kneel by the bedside that Taemin currently laid near. Chanyeol gently patted away at Taemin’s face and neck before trying to wake the younger gently, “Taemin, come on, I need you to take some medicine for your fever”, he spoke softly as he tried to shake him slowly. 

“Don’t hurt him!”, the child babbled as he put a protective little arm over Taemin’s chest which would usually annoy the hell out of Chanyeol since he disliked when others touched him. But somehow Chanyeol felt quite proud of this little boy and quite fond of him too. Smiling at him he only nodded as he mumbled a ‘let’s wake him up slow’ as they both patted the sleeping Taemin. Failing to do so, Chanyeol grew a little frustrated as he put the pill in his mouth with some water, pressing his lips against the younger who startled awake only to suddenly swallow the substance but cough in the process. Chanyeol did this while covering the little boy's eyes.

“Are you okay?”, Chanyeol asked as he caressed Taemin’s face gently, Taemin only nodded as he patted his chest to signal Hyun that he could sleep on him in which the little boy happily did. His dusty rose locks tickling Chanyeol’s forearm. “He’s cute”, Chanyeol spoke as he smiled at Taemin in which the younger only laughed as he smiled “of course he is, he takes after someone dear to me”, he had mumbled as he glanced at Chanyeol with a smile on his eyes. “Right, congratulations then. I wish you two the best.”, Chanyeol blurted as he scratched the back of his neck awkwardly. “I should take you back then.”, Chanyeol hummed as he got up. “But rest a bit more, I must attend to my son, it’s nearly time for me to pick him up.”, he continued as he headed towards the door, not noticing the fault in Taemin’s smile as he pulled Hyun closer to him and buried his face into the little boy's hair as he mumbled a soft reassuring statement that it was okay, that he would tell him soon, maybe. 

Chanyeol currently on his way to Tae’s school to pick him up, well the driver. Chanyeol sat in the back for he was forbidden from driving a rule that was put into place due to the many times he had attempted to leave the Kim household the first year he was forced to move here. His business was safe, and Taemin was left alone during the first year, but it didn’t mean Chanyeol did not agonize or try to fight to return to him. Chanyeol did his best to always keep up with Taemin, secretly contacting him in any way he could, granted Taemin did not want anything to do with him during that period, which he understood. But nonetheless, Chanyeol would still find ways to attend the dancer's concerts, that is until he no longer could for Tae had been born and he was obligated to attend to him while Ms. Kim went off to do whatever it was she pleased. Chanyeol felt suffocated the first year, not wanting anything to do with the Kim family and refusing every advance the woman brought upon him. But come the second year he grew anxious and tired, the Kim family threatening to ruin his company and the reputation Taemin had built as a dancer. They blackmailed him with images of the two, in their most intimate and private moments, one sticking with him- that being the morning Chanyeol had proposed a promising band to the younger on their fourth year anniversary. He was angry, he was the embodiment of pure wrath, lashing out at the Kim household. He did not know how long they had been secretly following him or keeping tabs on him, but he was in a rage, he couldn’t protect the most precious person to him, but he’d be damned if they believed he’d stop trying to. Tae had been born within the first few months of the first year with the Kim family, and Chanyeol could help but want nothing to do with him then. He attended to the child for Ms. Kim refused to, during this time Chanyeol had grown to accept this life now, even though he was tired, tired of it all. He never knew how much energy could be drained from his core by being kept away from Taemin, but he did his best nonetheless for he knew Taemin would want this child to grow up to be kind. It was the dancer’s dream to have a child, and Chanyeol wanted nothing more than to grant this wish for he loved Taemin and wanted to have a family with him, but as Chanyeol worked his way up the latter and Taemin began to pickup recognition for his performances it seemed that this dream grew further and further away from them. The two just settled with the happiness and fondness they held for one another. 

Thinking back on it, it made Chanyeol want to cry from the laughter, he wanted to turn back time to where everything was okay again. He wanted to be rid of the Kim family, but a burst of soft laughter and bubbly face halted these wishes as a child appeared before Chanyeol who now blinked out of his deep thoughts as he took in Tae’s warm smile. 

_As much as I may despise my life now, and being. You are far from at fault for it little one._

He smiled as he grabbed their little hand, holding him steadily as he got up into the car. Wrapping his arm around the younger, winter was cold this year and soon enough Tae would be three soon, for a two-year-old he matured quick and learned fast this made Chanyeol conjure up the thought that though Tae used to easily get sick as a child, he was indeed a dominant alpha. The characteristics shown brightly within the younger and in appearance, it made him worry for he knew once the Kim household got notice he’d be drilled into proper education and manners. Chanyeol refused to allow them to harm his son. By the time Chanyeol began to notice these changes in Tae, he had ordered a good friend to alter Tae’s third gender, one from alpha to omega. Chanyeol knew they would catch on eventually, but he wanted to prolong it as much as possible, he wanted Tae to grow up to have a decent childhood even if his home life was nothing sweet compared to others. 

“Would you like to meet someone? They’re very dear to me.”, Chanyeol cooed at the child, he wondered if Tae would get along with Taemin’s son. He wondered who had granted his wish of having a child. Though he’d rather rip their face-off, he also was thankful towards them, and he’d hope they would heal the younger. He worried, especially after seeing him after so long, he was not the Taemin he remembered. Why was he so weak now? What happened? Did he still dance? Chanyeol wanted to ask so many questions, but what right did he have to pry into his life? 

They had made their way home, Chanyeol picking up Tae as they walked up to the large home. Settling Tae down, a butler approached, humming in response. “Mr. Park, the young man with the little child has departed”, Chanyeol stared momentarily before heaving a sigh, his eyes shutting close as he calmed his heart. He’d figured that Taemin would not stay, no matter how much he’d wish to, but why come here if for not something? “Did he leave anything behind? In which I could contact him?”, He asked as he looked at the butler with hope, but he only got a nod of rejection. “He sends his regards, and best wishes that is all he had wished for me to tell you.”, the butler announced as he bowed and departed shortly after. 

Chanyeol would be lying if he said he wasn’t angry or hurt by Taemin just leaving without a word. Especially after the condition, he was in. He was within arms reach and just like that he was gone, to once again be left with a feeling of utter despair. 

**_Moments ago_ **

“Hyun~”, Taemin cooed as he pressed his lips to the little boy’s forehead, making him stir in the process. “Up, up, we need to leave”, he continued as he slowly tried to sit up, his body fighting him in the process as he breathed heavily, his eyes shut from the amount of pain that spread throughout every inch of him. This caused Hyun to suddenly become alert as the little boy looked at his parent with worry and wet eyes, their little hands patting at Taemin’s forearm. In which Taemin smiled as he gently raised his hand to ruffle the boy's hair. “I’m okay, we’re okay”, Taemin reassured as he moved to get off the bed, Hyun following behind with a glum expression, his hair sticking up everywhere- Taemin took notice and he chuckled softly as it reminded him very much of Chanyeol when he would wake up from a nap, smiling at the fond memory and the resemblance of Chanyeol in Hyun made Taemin warm and protective of his little boy. He was what was keeping Taemin alive now, his body slowly deteriorating from the inside out, he refused to leave his little bundle of joy early even if it meant that he would be in pain constantly. 

It’s been roughly close to three years since Taemin had stopped dancing. Nothing in particular like an illness was causing him to be unable to perform, but after Chanyeol had left without an explanation is when everything went downhill for Taemin, it was later on that year he came to find out that his last moment with the older, a bitter ending had brought upon him a wish granted, Hyun and with the bringing of his little boy began the shut down of his body. It seemed Taemin’s body was shutting down from the inside out from being apart from Chanyeol for nearly a year, he thought maybe those tales were just hoaxes. But he was beginning to believe them that year. The second-year rolled in and Taemin was faltering, his performances lacking his full presence and his body beginning to slow down regardless of how much effort he put in to appear put together. He was growing tired, and his heart was heavy, but nonetheless, he did his best to continue because he needed to provide for Hyun. Within that second-year Taemin was able to publish his novel he had been working on for so long. It became quite successful for him which allowed him to depart from his talents as a performer though it did not make things any easier for him. Slowly Taemin began to see the changes in him, his body breaking down as the flesh he once held now became sunken in, his flushed cheeks but a hollow form as his cheekbones jutted out from the lack of fat. His eyes no longer bright and warm, but tired, so tired. He worried, he worried that he wouldn’t be able to see Hyun grow up even though financially they were off rather well, there was only so much Taemin could do to keep himself from combusting. 

Nonetheless, he did his best to always be there for Hyun, to witness his accomplishments no matter how tired his body felt. That same year, Taemin began to notice that Hyun showed characteristics of his third gender. Taemin was relieved that he was not a beta, but an alpha like Chanyeol. He was thrilled, and he felt reassured that Hyun would be okay, that they would be okay. The second-year was coming to an end, and Taemin was no longer able to support his body, everything causing him utter pain. His brain unable to comprehend simple things at times. 

He thought maybe he did have an illness at this point, but his family doctor would state otherwise. He’d simply tell him that he was breaking down from being apart from Chanyeol, it made him wonder if the older was also having a hard time, but he begged to differ for he never heard from Chanyeol since his last performance. He’d be lying if he didn’t miss the redhead, he wanted to introduce him to their son, he wanted Chanyeol to be a part of Hyun’s life even if it was for a brief second. So, he set out to find Chanyeol that year. It was difficult, but it paid to know people within the industry so it wasn’t before long that Taemin was able to gather the information he needed to locate the giant. 

Nearing the third year, Taemin had gathered every possible ounce of energy and courage to make his way up to the isolated manor that held Chanyeol. He was nervous, but the warm hand and tiny smile in his arms washed this feeling away. 

Now standing with Hyun in his arms Taemin, debated if he should just write a letter for the giant explaining his reason for coming here, if he should tell him who Hyun really was, but he couldn’t bring himself to. As much as Taemin had resented Chanyeol, he loved him too much to push himself back into the olders life even if it meant it would help him heal. He took the band he wore and continued to wear all these three years, and the one he wore around his neck. He gave it to a butler, before making his way out of the home. 

“Hyun, do you remember that tall man?”, Taemin softly spoke as he patted the little boys back, he only nodded as he stared at Taemin with warm eyes. “Try to always keep him in your memories, he’s someone very special to us.”, he whispered as he placed a kiss upon their cheek. 

He held Hyun close to him as he felt his little hands stroke his hair, his tears being wiped by those same little hands. “I-Its O-Okay”, Hyun had stuttered out with a bright smile. Taemin couldn’t help but laugh as his face was stained with heavy rivers.

_Yes, we will be. Chanyeol, please remember Hyun, I’ll send you to him in due time. So, please, bear with it a little longer, I know you can._

_I love you, Chanyeol._

Taemin breathed as he took one more look at the house behind him before he departed with Hyun staring back at the butler who only bowed at him with a warm smile. 

\---

_We’ll meet again, in a life after this. I promise you, thank you, Park Chanyeol._

_\- Lee Taemin_

Chanyeol closed the book he found waiting for him on his desk within the room he had held Taemin briefly in. Staring at the cover that read the dancer’s name, and a title that fitted his journey perfectly. 

_In Time_

_Lee Taemin_

Smiling for the last time that year, he put the book on his shelf, a photo falling from it, landing by his feet. The back of it inked with a name ‘Park Hyun’, turning it over, a silence painting its way into the study before a burst of laughter mixed with heavy gasps of breaths filled the room. Chanyeol stumbled back landing into his seat as he held the photo to his lips, as his whole facade crumbled below him. 

_How cruel, Lee Taemin, ah, how cruel indeed my love. I promise to hold him dear, my beloved, my precious Hyun._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had started on this final part that same week I posted the first part. I was originally going to leave it be, but I couldn't hahah. Enjoy this last entry.


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